The Sadness Of Addiction

At the heart of addiction, there is always emptiness.  Emptiness is the big bad harbinger of all bad things to come for someone with addiction.  They fight it, try to fill it, try to ignore it, and try to redefine it.  All of us probably know someone with some type of addiction or at least an addictive personality.  The sadness you feel for them is painful.

Drug Addiction Keeps You Chasing Away The Emptiness

It seems that people with drug or alcohol addiction keep chasing rabbits down holes.  There is some kind of elusive next-best-thing they are always chasing.  Or they always seem to be the very most drunk one at the party.  Or they always seem to be the most frustrated with their love life, work life, and getting everything together.

If you and several people you know have found ways to be successful and progressive in their life, this kind of repetitive scenario gets so hard to see.  They may not really think they have a problem, much less see a need to get drug or alcohol treatment.  They are likely to minimize their drug related problems and even see it as a natural consequence of the rotten luck they’ve had.  Well, wouldn’t you get drunk and party if your job sucked this bad?  Getting wasted is the way I finally have fun after dealing with my girlfriend all week long.  Maybe you need to drink more and get off my back.

And yet, they stay at the job they hate.  They make no moves to transfer, get more training, sniff around other companies.  They make no decisive move with their girlfriend, either staying and acting differently or ending it for good.  They complain and get stone.  Get frustrated without seeming to have insight – and drink a lot.  And seem to stay in the same place in life while many others progress and mature.

But I Dont Need Drug Treatment

If you are a healthy person seeing this happen to someone you care about, it can fill you with such sadness.  Clearly, this person doesn’t get it that their severe drinking or drug use is completely connected with their unhappiness.  You can tell they need drug and alcohol treatment to get clean and straighten out their priorities.

But you know that they’ve gotten very defensive when anyone says they have a problem.  No, you are the one with the problem.  You don’t understand their situation, how they can’t do anything about how bad things are, and how you are blowing it all out of proportion.  Drug and alcohol rehab isn’t going to fix their life, and it’s a stupid idea.  Yeah, more sadness with that for you.

Knowing They Need Drug Treatment

In case you were wondering, you’d be right about drug treatment.  If you can see how drugs and alcohol are interfering with a person’s ability to live well, have healthy relationships, make good decisions, feel motivated to gain wisdom and adapt, then they probably need drug treatment.

Unfortunately, it is exactly like the old phrase says – you can bring the horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.  The only way a drug addict or alcoholic will benefit from or even go to drug or alcohol treatment is with some willingness.  They must give up some element of their illusion of control in order to
accept new ideas and a new reality.  You can only be there for your friend or loved one, keep them aware that you think they could use some help, and pray their illusions collapse.  Until then, you may have to get used to the sadness.