Are You Addicted to Bad Relationships?

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Relationships can be great if they are healthy. However, a growing number of people consistently find themselves in unhealthy damaging relationships. Recent articles have suggested that some people may be addicted to bad relationships. Bad relationship addiction follows the same rules as other types of addiction. The definition of addiction is a strong, harmful need to have something regularly or to do something. Are some people addicted to bad relationships?

If you have been in bad relationships, you understand the struggle. It is easy to get addicted to the drama and rollercoaster of a bad relationship, but it could be hindering you from living your fullest life in recovery.  The time is now to make a change.

To clarify, if you’ve been in one bad relationship, that does not necessarily mean you’re addicted to bad relationships.  If you can notice a pattern of bad relationships in your life, the problem might be the types of people you go after.

According to an article in the Huffington Post, the reason people get into a chain of bad relationships has more to do with their perception of themselves. If we think of ourselves negatively, we will continue to date individuals who confirm those beliefs, even if they are not accurate.

Here are eight signs you’re addicted to bad relationships, and how to break the vicious cycle:

1. You Seek Partners Who Bring Down Your Self-Esteem.

   It may not be on purpose, but seeking someone who brings you down is part of the bad relationship cycle. Most of the time, this attraction is subconscious. You are not even aware that you are doing this at first. After all, who wants to be brought down by another person? No one does, but it can be more appealing to chase after someone who does not appreciate you. If in your past relationships, you were chasing another person’s approval or trying to improve their opinion of you, you were in this bad relationship cycle. You may have even tried to appear perfect in your relationship so the relationship would work. However, none of these behaviors are healthy and do not help improve your self-esteem issues. A good relationship will help you grow as a person and should be beneficial to your life.

2. You’ve Never Experienced True Compromise.

   If you look back to all of your relationships and realize that you always go out of your way to please your partners, without expecting anything in return; you may have a problem. Relationships are all about compromise. You should not always feel like you are sacrificing the most in the relationship. You should not have to tiptoe around that person’s schedule or hesitate to stand up for yourself. After a while, this type of behavior will hit hard on your confidence. Low confidence makes it more difficult to stop this vicious cycle.  Lack of compromise on your partner’s end is huge and is definitely enough to lead to disaster down the road.  Focus on working on improving your confidence and understanding your needs before jumping into the next relationship.

3. You Date People Who Test Your Morals.

   Any relationship that has you compromising your character and morals is a no-no. For some, going for the “bad girl” or the “bad boy” relationship is simply too tempting to pass up, If you have had a series of partners who have gotten you involved in unethical behavior or illegal things, that is a major sign of bad relationship addiction. You need to break the habit of clinging on to these kinds of people. It may seem fun, exciting, and romantic at first, but in the long run, relationships like this are toxic. You could end up with legal troubles, and damage to your mental health. You don’t want to carry that baggage into your next relationship.

4. You Are More Sad In Relationships Than Happy.

   If you have had more down times in relationships than good times, you could be choosing the wrong partners. All relationships have their down points, but if you cannot remember the last time you were in a genuinely happy, balanced relationship, you might struggle with bad relationship addiction. Some people who are in bad relationships justify the relationship by telling themselves that all relationships are this way. This could not be further from the truth. A good relationship should not make you unhappy all the time. You should seek out the love you deserve, instead of falling prey to these unhappy relationships.

5. You’ve Faced Emotional or Physical Abuse in Multiple Relationships.

   Abuse is a serious matter, so abuse should never be accepted as normal in a relationship. If you have been in any abusive relationship, emotional or physical, and made it out, you should know that is an amazing accomplishment. However, if you find yourself falling victim to another abusive relationship, you probably have a problem with bad relationship addiction. You must remind yourself of your worth and get out immediately. Often, abusive relationships leave you in a more vulnerable state which can make it easier for you to fall into a similar type of relationship in the future. Focus on healing and understand how your mind works to avoid getting into this situation again. Abuse is nothing to take lightly.

How to Stop the Cycle

If you find yourself relating to more than just a few of the signs on this list, you need to learn how to stop this cycle. The first step is to admit you have a problem. Next, if you have someone in yourself who is mistreating you, understand that you need to cut ties. Waiting only furthers the damage that the relationship is causing to you.

Realize how happy you will be in a relationship that makes you feel good about yourself. The important part is to understand who you are outside of a relationship before getting involved in another one. According to Psychology Today, “the better we understand ourselves, the better we’ll be able to choose partners who support us just as we support them.”

Relationships and love can be addicting, but equipped with the right knowledge; you will be able to seek partners that treat you the way you deserve. Recovery is about learning about yourself and living a sober, healthy life. If you are struggling, our professionals can help you get on track. Call now.