5 Reasons Why You Should Marry Yourself
Of course I don’t mean literally marry yourself. But, the point of this article is to make clear the importance of being committed to yourself first, before committing to another person.
Many of us are under the impression – whether we realize it or not – that our happiness depends on others. For instance, that once we find “the one,” we will feel whole. Like the famous line Tom Cruise’s character uses in Jerry Maguire: “You complete me,” we think that intimate love means finding our other half.
But there’s a flipside to this way of thinking. Just as we think that our happiness depends on other people (or circumstances), we end up playing the victim blaming others for our unhappiness. As you can see, this is not a healthy approach to life.
Instead, we should cultivate our whole-ness before sharing that with someone else. Here are 5 reasons why you should marry yourself before marrying someone else.
#1. Accountability
The writer and poet Khalil Gebran said, “Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.” No matter what, we are the sole owners of our happiness, regardless of how many people we know and how amazing our partners are. Marrying yourself is a way of taking responsibility for your wellbeing and happiness and therefore learn how to stop blaming others and playing the victim.
#2. Practice
Marrying yourself can help you practice skills that are essential to a long-term partnership.
Don’t be fooled by the movies! Long-term relationships, such as marriages, take work – from both parties. Create your own vows, to and for yourself, and commit to them every day. Things such as forgiving yourself, being compassionate and supporting the pursuit of your own dreams will prepare you for an amazing relationship to come.
#3. Commitment
Why do people get married when they can just live together? Public commitment makes it less likely for you to back out. By marrying yourself, you are telling the world that you are committed to loving yourself. Making an official commitment (however that looks for you, maybe it’s a little ceremony by yourself or with close friends) is a way to strengthen this promise and to serve as an inspiration to others in your community.
#4. Building Trust
Many of us – and by “us” I mean women, in general, and recovering alcoholics and addicts, specifically, have trust issues. Amirite, ladies?? And ultimately, learning to trust others starts with learning to trust yourself. Spending time alone, committed to yourself, can teach you how to trust yourself and your decisions. Therefore, when you choose to be with someone, it will be out of partnership rather than dependency, not because you need them; because you want them.
#5. Learning Forgiveness
If you cannot forgive yourself, you will live in a life full of blame: blaming yourself and blaming others (again, the whole playing the victim thing). And if you still don’t see the importance of marrying yourself, think about it like this: Who’s a better person to spend the rest of your life with than your true, wild, radiant, awesome self?
And that is why you should marry yourself. Because, if you can’t commit to you, you’ll never truly commit to anyone else.
Codependency is very common among people with addiction and substance abuse issues. There is help available for all three of these conditions. If you are struggling, please call toll-free 1-800-777-9588 to speak directly with an Addiction Specialist.