5 Expectations That Will Only Lead to Resentment

Having expectations is treading in dangerous territory. I know, it’s easier said than done to not have any expectations – after all, it’s human nature to form ideas and preconceived notions of people and situations. However, if you are not aware that you are doing this, these expectations will certainly run amok. Here are 5 expectations that will only lead to resentment.

#1. Your sponsor will never do anything wrong

It’s true, we look up to our sponsors. After all, they are helping us immensely at a time when we really need it. But, it’s important to remember that your sponsor, like you, is only human and therefore will make mistakes. Having crazy-high expectations of your sponsor will only cause you harm.

#2. People in the program are actually working a program

You’ve probably heard (or been told by your sponsor) to not take other people’s inventory and that everybody’s program is their program – even if it appears as if they’re not even working a program. What others are doing (or not doing) is simply not your business. So what if their recovery looks different from yours? Does it really have any bearing on the quality of the program you’re working? If it does, that means you are forming unrealistic expectations of others which will only lead to resentment. And you know what they say about resentments – they will take you back out, my friend.

#3. Everything will fall into place right away

Being recovering addicts means that we are wired for instant gratification: we want what we want and we want it NOW. Just because you’re clean and sober doesn’t mean that all of your problems magically go away. Don’t get me wrong – A LOT of your problems will be resolved simply by getting clean because these problems were directly related to your drug use. But, like many others in recovery, especially early recovery, you might have stuff to “clean up” from the days, weeks, years spent in your active addiction. Things like legal issues and ruined relationships, to name a few.

#4. Being sober means no more problems

#5. The “pink cloud” will last forever

When you first get clean and sober, you experience what others in the program call “the pink cloud” – you feel great physically, mentally, and emotionally. They warn you, though, that at some point, the pink cloud will dissipate, lowering you from this natural high back down on the ground called ‘reality.’  If you’re like me, it was hard to believe that this feeling-good ride would ever end. We caution others about this not to be jerks and pop your bubble but, to make sure you’re careful not to form an expectation that things will always be great now that you’re living a sober lifestyle. As it’s also said often, life still shows up on life’s terms. The sooner you embrace this notion the better off you are. Catching a resentment against life, in general, is definitely the fast-track back to active addiction.

If you or someone you love is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll-free 1-800-777-9588.