13 Things Unemotional Women Understand

Have you ever felt weird, different, terminally unique? I, for one, have – and do on more than one occasion. In fact, I used to be convinced that I was an alien from another planet and sometimes I’d stand out in the back yard, looking up towards the night sky and imagine the Mother Ship coming back for me to take me home.

Now, admittedly, this was something I’d do in the days of my active addiction, when I began to feel completely broken, desperate, and miserable.  But, even when I was growing up – and before the drugs and alcohol – I felt somehow different.

Female stereotypes – that we’re supposed to be emotional and full of all the feels – definitely contributed a great deal to my perceptions that something was wrong with me. I seriously thought I was emotionally broken.

If you’re like me, these 13 things unemotional women understand will probably be something with which you can identify.

1. You’ve been accused of being heartless

Just because your first instinct to something serious or life changing an extreme outpouring of emotions. Tears, of sadness or joy, are a rare thing for you. You probably internalize things so that you can properly process and understand them.

2. People (usually other women) accuse you of ‘trying to be one of the guys’

This is based on the assumption that your lack of sensitivity is an attempt at trying to appeal and seem more attractive to the opposite sex (if that’s what you’re into).

3. Proclamations of love and displays of affection are your personal hell

Ugh…there’s nothing worse, or more awkward, than romantic gestures hurled in your direction. Amirite, ladies of my kind? You’ve never been very eloquent when it comes to expressing how you feel, and emotional, heartfelt compliments kind of make you cringe.

4. You feel like you suck at comforting others…

And it makes you silently hate yourself. You often wish you knew the perfect thing to say in order to make your friends and loved ones feel better but you usually feel like you fall short of the mark.

5. Despite being unemotional, you’re actually good at talking to people

You’re not shy or antisocial. It’s just that you tend to keep your social interactions on a superficial level. You like people but, only at arms’ distance.

6. When you are feeling certain emotions, you distance yourself from others

It’s usually when you feel upset, sad, or hurt. Although most people find comfort being around others when they are experiencing these emotions, (and although part of you thinks you probably would too) you find it difficult to open up and therefore make yourself vulnerable.

7. People think you lack a filter

You tend to be blunt and to the point. When you care about someone, you believe it’s a sign of respect to be perfectly honest with them.

9. You’re probably a creative

Because you have a hard time verbally expressing yourself to others, you probably find other, creative outlets, such as writing, drawing, painting, or physical activities. These outlets allow you to release the internal energies you’re struggling with.

10. If/when you finally do open up to others, you feel super-fragile

There are few things in life that terrify you as much as allowing someone in – to see your vulnerability – and desperately hoping they’ll still care about you.

11. You’re a ‘mama bear’

You’re usually the emotional protector of your friends, and even your own mother. Although you don’t let the opinions of others bother you, when it comes to someone saying something hurtful about your loved one, you are ready to attack; you’ll be damned if you let other people hurt the people you care about.

12. When you do care about someone or something, you’re all in

You’re ‘over the moon,’ as they say, and maybe a little irrational. For you, there isn’t a middle ground, which isn’t very healthy.

13. Secretly, you’re a hopeless romantic

You might not cry when movies tug at the heartstrings but, they actually do hit you right in the feels and, even though you claim to despise romantic comedies (aka ‘chick flicks’), you secretly love them for their stupid, completely unrealistic way they portray love.

IMPORTANT: Eventually, you will accept that you just aren’t the emotional type and that that’s perfectly OK. You can appreciate that everyone is just a little bit different and it has nothing to do with gender. Like everyone else out there, you’re a work in progress, but you’re not broken.

Struggling with substance abuse, addiction, and unresolved trauma? Orchid Recovery Center is a top-rated women’s treatment center that can help. Please call toll-free 1-800-777-9588.