When Drug Addiction and Relationships Tangle

It can start out as a way to have fun, loosen up, even bond.  But when drug and alcohol use turns to an addiction, it is anything but good for intimate relationships.  Addiction means drug seeking behaviors, lots of time spent under the influence, and a huge shift in priorities.  We’ll look at a few ways an alcohol or drug addict might respond when you call them out on their addiction, even urge them to get drug treatment.

I Promise I Am In Control And It Will Be OK

Your special someone assures you that they are totally in control.  Yes, they have had a few slip ups but they really don’t need drug rehab.  They know you have been worried and that they’ve let you down.  They promise it won’t happen and they never meant to hurt you.  But really, they don’t need any kind of drug treatment or help because it isn’t a problem. 

This kind of reassurance might work a few times.  But it’s likely to wear thin if it really is a drug addiction.  They won’t really be in control, just deluding themselves and you.  They may mean well, but ultimately won’t be able to live up to their promises.  Their behaviors and choices are likely to irritate you after a while, leading to lots of sadness and hurt feelings.

You Would Like Drugs If You Did Them With Me

Your special someone deflects your concern by trying to get you to use more.  They really like it, and you used to as well.  You’ve backed off and they have increased their use.  Sometimes they encourage you to join in and have a good time.  Other times, they come back with, “You’re no fun anymore.”  Either way, it can sound like you are the one who is either missing out or a spoil sport.

You Are Wrong I Don’t Have A Drug Addiction

This is when your loved one can really start turning on you.  They may believe that they want a relationship with you, if you would only get off their back.  Or, they may think they have had enough of you getting on their case.  You believe they need drug treatment, they say, “I don’t need this, we’re over.”  If they are willing to choose their drug addiction over you, they are not ready to be in a relationship anyway. 

If you are not married, it’s not a bad idea to consider their comment about ending the relationship.  If you are married, this can be a much more difficult choice to think about.   It may be worth a few more attempts at getting them to drug rehab.  However, if they still seem to choose the drugs over the relationship, it may be time to say goodbye.  Remember that you still need to consider your own mental health in all this.  Are you hurting yourself by staying? 

Drug Treatment Refusal May Mean Its Over

Drug addiction and relationships can get so entangled.  Marriages and dating relationships are based on trust, emotional connection, and mutual benefit.  Yes, the expectation is often to stick with each other through good and bad times.  But it is also important to keep in touch with reality.  If you think they need drug treatment and they say “no”, it may be time for you to say goodbye.